Just had to tell someone to try turning it off and on again. For the eighth time today. Before 10 AM. Is it home time yet?

A fire... at a Sea Parks?! It's the weirdest thing I've ever heard! Anyway, if you're in an emergency, the number is 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3. Much easier to remember.

Just had a very productive meeting where I presented 'The Internet' to the board. They were very impressed. Thanks to the Elders of the Internet for lending me the box!

FAAAATHERRRRRRRR! My new invention 'Spaceology' is going to change the world. And make me incredibly wealthy. Which I already am. But still!

Just listening to some Cradle of Filth. It soothes the darkness in my soul. The lights are far too bright in this office again.

These shoes are just slightly too small! My feet are ON FIRE. But they said 'Made in Italy', so... worth it, right? Asking for a friend.

I came here to drink milk and kick ass. And I've just finished my milk.

I'm disabled. No, really. Parked in the disabled spot and everything. Got the sticker and all. People are very accommodating. My legs don't work.

TEAM! TEAM! TEAM! TEAM! TEAM! I just wanted to say that we are a TEAM, and as a TEAM, we are declaring WAR on stress! Attendance at the mandatory stress-reduction seminar is, well, mandatory.

I'm the eight-time winner of 'Street Countdown'. The word is 'Tnetennba'. Anyone? No? It's a nine-letter word. It's a type of ladies' tennis shoe.